The contrast to two years ago is quite stark. Back then I was literally near-Death and dying fast. Then, in my Death Feigning or "off" state, I would be in a much deeper Freeze, with more "rigor mortis" (rigidity). I was literally a zombie. Now I am much more functional - half-alive instead of near-dead - while symptomatic, unless having a really bad day. Even when the drugs switched me on, back then, it was not into full Aliveness, but into another half-dead, unfeeling, empty state - that of permanent Fight-Flight which I had pre-existed all in my life. Moreover, I was taking so many drugs that my movement (and emotions) were uncontrolled, I would go over to a state of dyskinesia which could be worse than the symptoms. Some of the drugs (ropenirole) I was on then actually made my Fight-Flight much, much worse than before.
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Diminished Aliveness and Parkinson's Disease
Perhaps it would be instructive at this point, therefore to describe more about what its like when I am very symptomatic, to help understanding of why I believe this disease truly corresponds to Death Feigning, and why the converse - increase Aliveness - is the key route to healing. In Death Feigning, not only movement is switched off, but as are all signals through which the keen sense of predators might detect some vestigial signs of life. To me, this describes exactly how it is when I am symptomatic - if I don't implement strategies to combat this state and just allow it to take over - and the more symptomatic I am, the more pronounced these experiences:
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