The contrast to two years ago is quite stark. Back then I was literally near-Death and dying fast. Then, in my Death Feigning or "off" state, I would be in a much deeper Freeze, with more "rigor mortis" (rigidity). I was literally a zombie. Now I am much more functional - half-alive instead of near-dead - while symptomatic, unless having a really bad day. Even when the drugs switched me on, back then, it was not into full Aliveness, but into another half-dead, unfeeling, empty state - that of permanent Fight-Flight which I had pre-existed all in my life. Moreover,  I was taking so many drugs that my movement (and emotions) were uncontrolled, I would go over to a state of dyskinesia which could be worse than the symptoms. Some of the drugs (ropenirole) I was on then actually made my Fight-Flight much, much worse than before.